You are by far the most attractive person to visit this site EVER.

I'm Joe Beutel. I can run a 3-minute mile, jump in slow motion, dunk a Volkswagen and melt trees with my super big brain. I'm also a copywriter.

My creative work is

. Sit back and look at it with your eyeballs, then grab a complementary PDF. It's on me.

FACT I read the entire internet. Twice.

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This site was designed by Joe Beutel. Remember, he is a writer. Any design issues may be taken up with him at 651/261-6892. If he doesn't pick up, leave a message in English or binary code. He is fluent in both. He is also very good looking and smart. You wouldn't have guessed it by that giant picture on the landing page, but it's true. He also predicts the stock market with 140% accuracy. That's a scientific fact. Thank you for visiting JoeBeutel.com and we do hope you enjoyed yourself. You are super good looking.